We are *REALLY* glad to have you hangin’ ‘round’ “Earl ‘n’ Lester’s Bait SHOP and SUSHI BAR with us as we try to magnify the ‘season to be jolly’.
I remember hearing about half a joke a couple of years back and somehow in my brain I associate it with the well-known but deceased author, scholar and Christian apologist Clive Staples Lewis – also known to close friends as “Jack” – He assigned “Jacksie” to himself his mother said when he was about 6 or 7 years old. The joke goes that two men (or it couldda been ladies) were overheard talking on a bus as it rolled through the residential streets around
One of them said to the other – as they observed a small store owner erecting a Nativity Scene in a store windo: “Just looka there…. They’re puttin’ Christ in *everything* about Christmas and I can’t stand it!”
I suppose that is how unbelievers tend to feel – perhaps not all but a goodly (or badly) number.
I’ve had a distant ‘friend’ for whom I’ve been praying several years since I observed him on TV once – doing the best he could to ‘skin’ the Christians for being involved in ‘shoving’ Christ at unsuspecting folks all the time. Well this ‘friend’s’ name is Christopher Hitchins.
We can pick up this conversation between Chris and God – that isn’t going too well. …
Hitchens: "O.K, now its nice for you to have given me a pretty decent sherry, and I like your style about the Lucky Strikses too, but, before we go on one step further, God Awful, in this mere dream of mine, let's get one thing straight." God, feeling generous and mild, as it almost time to celebrate Their Birthday: "O.K. What Chris?"
Hitchens: "No one calls me Chris goddmanit. Or Goddamn you for that matter. You can call me Hitch, preferred, or Mr. Hitchens, or Chistopher if you must, but, no one calls me Chris! Compernde?"
God: "We can call you what We wish, Chris,
as this is Our Universe, and that's part of Our issue with you."
Hitchens, getting very flustered and agitated, spelling his drink on the lambswool carpet that lines Heaven:"Don't call me Chris Goddamn God you!"
God:"Chris, look at the mess you made. Fortunately, Chris," knowing as the master manipulator of all human psychology that he had succeeded in getting under his skin," the Love of We can wash aways all stains, including that of mortal sins, like the pride that cometh before a fall, or wrath."
Hitchens, now standing up and pouring another sherry from the Chalice of the Last Supper, "Listen, Gawd Awful,you manipulative bastard, look what you did to Job for that fact of life, I'll not have a converstation with you unless you stop calling me Chris!"
God: "Are you sure about that Chris? We can call for the check now, and you can spend all the time you want with Lucifer, and, he does have unlimited Budweiser on tap for all eternity. Of course, we can wait here for all eternity too, since We are all powerful and all knowing."
Hitchens, having turned his back to God and slamming down his now third glass of sherry, "I can wait longer than you can."
...
Six hundred and sixy six seconds later
Hitchens: "Are you ready to call me Hitch now, God Awful, or do we keep waiting."
God: "That was an impressive display of will, pride, arrogance, and effrontery, which sometimes pleases us, and was one of the reasons We showered many blessings on you, and because We are all powerful and all knowing, and anticipated your every move, We will now call you as you prefer, Hitch." (the end for now)
================
I’m very sorry for Mr. Hitchens…He merely strengthened God’s case.
Well… I’m off to bed late again.
Cordially, IN HIM
Jack Buttram
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