WHO'S THE MOST SKAIRT ON THIS PANEL? -- for Just A Minute Radio on Wednesday 111026

When it gets around Halloween time over at the BIG punkin’ Patch near FAIRPLAY – you just never know which side the whipped cream will come down on when the pie is served.

 

Halloween with it’s mounds of calorie-counting observers are party-poopers for those of us trying to lost a few pounds or an inch or two off the waistline – especially if you’re married to a cook who knows how to bring together the traditional favorites of this time of year.

 

So we’re not too far away from Turkey day.  My only complaint is – I think we should have occasions for pumpkin pie more frequently earlier in the year. Why wait until Halloween’s looking at Thanksgiving and all the Christmas goodies are looking over those shoulders… and by the time we get to New Year’s… well the old appetite has difficulty arguing for another slice of fruit cake or finishing off that half-quart of egg-nog … well you’re over the cliff already… so what’s the diff?  That’s a poor way to sail through the holidays… and gets you off to a very sluggish start in January.

 

However… you deserve at least one sort of holiday reaction sometime!

 

That’s why I keep advocating we *abandon* January … it’s a totally winter month – even down here in the Southland. There’s little to be cheered on in January… (except my birthday on the 31^st and I hope the lads remember the chocolate covered nuts… particularly the ‘fresh’ Brazil ones even if they are hard to crack… [just recall… they’re not as difficult as Black Walnuts. As a ten year old I used to go out to the blacksmithing shed and find the smaller hand hammer I could swing and crack the BW’s [black walnuts] until one time I ate too many and made myself ill.--  that wasn’t fun. At least it signaled the end of January…) 

 

Good old Ground Hog’s Day… little to celebrate except the cold would begin abdicating in the latter part of February…I always knew Spring was on the way when Dad reminded me we had to dig hills for the potatoes and get them quartered with at least one eye – preferably two – so they would be sure to sprout. He said it was best to get them in the ground by St. Pat’s Day.

 

Why am I so far ahead on Holidays?  It’s going to be a long boring slog through the primaries and THEN come the conventions and all the normal intra-party bickering that goes on … Perhaps (but only perhaps) we can get tired enough of that to figure let’s get on with the year and the election of 2012 – get the new President inaugurated in January and fire up the real RECONSTRUCTION which is what we need to get fired up about it.

 

We’ll need a running start to climb out of the hole Mr. O and his minions are creating for us even as we suffer.  Can you imagine the size of the jet fuel bill he’s run up on the taxpayer’s tab during all this NON political season he’s foisting upon the American public. If you’re gonna scrape the bottom of the Treasury at least do it where we can’t see it so readily.  We’re just panting for the election of 2012.

 

Cheerfully…

 

Jack Buttram

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“JUST A MINUTE”

WHO’S THE MOST SKAIRT ON THIS PANEL?

 

MizP.: Jist a Minit: Has you ever been scairt at Halloween, Mr. Jack?

Jack: Ah… I’ll admit in Hitchcock’s PSYCHO I left fingerprint the armrests..

MizP: You sqooze ‘em so hard you lef…

BB: His fingerprint’s in the varnish – rite Mr. J?

Jack: Exactly Billy Bob.

Homer: Didja ever git scairt ridin’ a roller-coaster?

Jack: I guess so – I worried the old wooden one at our amusement park  would fall…

MizP: Well did hit?.

Jack: Ah – no…at least not while I was on it.

MizP: As a little girl Ah didn’t wanna go onum no more.

Jack: To be honest – I think that’s what happened to me.. too.

Homer: Didja ever git scairt in a airiplane.

Jack: No…I’ll was tense.

MizP: But bein’ scairt when you’s the pilot ain’t healthy.

Jack: Exactly -- Did all this come up because of Halloween?

MizP: Well yeah… Ah was scairt as a littl’un … Ah still don’t like hit.

BB: Some people says they enjoy’s hit…

Homer: Ah thank they’s the ones is waired up wrong.

Jack: I had friends who’d get off an get in line --  right back on.          

BB: Yeah the psyco’s say they’s got a dee fishincy.

MizP: They don’t know how to be scairt?

Jack: Well it seems it’s a kind of painful pleasure maybe.

MizP: Well Ah say at Hall-0-een…chirren shud be wif they parents an… an

Homer: An carry a flashlite so people kin see’um.

MizP: Good ideah, Homer… verry good idea…an don’t step off th’ curb no lite.

BB: If’n you’s in th’ cold weah warm  kostume an awl.

Homer: An don’t eat candy unless hit’s wrapped.

Jack: Good advice to all… stick with your parents… and we’ll be with you next week

               <> I’m Jack Buttram (END)

                                                            Jebco Editorial Service

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Audio Link http://www.wmuu.com/blog/category/audio/

 

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