AND IN THIS CORNER ... -- Just a Minute for 07/14/08

Hello Again – it’s MONDAY – and we look forward to another week in the ‘dog days’ – but the days are getting shorter – just a bit.

 

            Mike Gallagher, for some years, did a local talk show here in Greenville; and Jesse Jackson, a now famous local native Greenvillian, who played quarterback for Sterling High – is possibly more vividly remembered as a young kitchen worker at the old Poinsett Hotel where he is quoted as saying he often “spit in the White Folk’s food.”

 

          The FOX News story last week, spread across the cable net by Bill O’Reilly – seemed to show the Reverend Jesse whispering to another man in a news studio about Obama ‘talking down to black people’ – and offering to make Mr. Obama a ‘eunuch’ – or words to that effect. It was presented as a crude error on Jesse’s part – and within minutes he was on the tube with his apology and shortly after (almost too shortly) Obama’s acceptance of Jesse’s contrition aired.

 

          That was soon followed by a blistering condemnation from Rev. Mr. Jackson’s son – a Democrat congressman from Illinois – chastising the Reverend in the first paragraph and only making reference to him as “Dad” in the second. That seemed a little odd to me --  but to Mike Gallagher – he described it as having a distinctly fake – i.e. “like a rat” – smell.  Gallagher in his Town Hall news column said he believes the whole deal was a put up job to allow the elder Jackson to ‘take a fall for the team.’ He went on to explain his belief is the older Jackson has done too many TV shows, with a producer talking in his earpiece, and knows too much about how the mikes in the studio are always live and can be heard in the control room and so forth.  For Mike it’s just not credible to think that Jesse, “being the huckster that he is” would be caught by surprise that a studio mike was live.

 

          It’s Gallagher’s conjecture that Jesse Sr. was willing to ‘take a fall’ for the team. That is to be thought a fool, caught with his mouth open when it should have been closed. But in so doing he handed Obama the opportunity to be a “BIG” forgiver, as well as to demonstrate that Obama is a new generation of black leadership – above the pettiness that sometimes has gotten black leaders in trouble heretofore.  It also allows Jackson Jr. to demonstrate he is cut from a different bolt of cloth than his Dad – and that’s probably a plus in this particular electoral race.

 

          Well… maybe so. --- I was genuinely surprised by the tone of the Jr. Jackson’s remarks – especially since they were so quick off the mark. And it does look like a win-win situation for Obama, since Jesse the Sr. isn’t running in a popularity contest this year.  If it is – and I don’t know who’s going to admit it – a ‘put up job’ I don’t know how we the listening public can discover it, short of a confession – and I think that’s a *most* unlikely event.  Right now it’s just another twist in an already long and difficult race.  About all we can do is ‘wait and see.’

 

Cordially, IN HIM

 

Jack

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-14-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-14-08.doc

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

AND IN THIS CORNER…

Just A Minute – Two local names link Greenville with national news: Mike Gallagher and Jesse Jackson. Mike used to do a talk show on local radio here – and Greenville native Jackson is probably most famous locally for saying when he was a kitchen worker at the old Poinsett hotel he would often “spit in the white folk’s food.”

Mike believes Jesse isn’t that ignorant about how TV studios and open mikes work. Mike says he believes the supposedly off-hand remarks from the former primo leader of black political power, were actually intended to be heard. He thinks the Rev. Jesse was willing to ‘take a fall’ just to help Barak distance himself from the dark cloud that hangs over Jesse and company.

Essentially – Mike Gallagher, in his Town Hall column, asserts Jesse deliberately put himself in the spotlight (Which everyone knows he loves.) in order to allow Obama to forgive Jesse, and give Jesse Junior an opportunity to show he’s part of a new generation.

That’s a bit too Machiavellian for me; but I do agree the facts surrounding the Fox News incident are maybe just a little too “Foxy.”

 <> I’m Jack Buttram

(END)

 

 

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IS THAT A WHITE FLAG, GENERAL? - Just a Minute for Friday 07-11-08

HI – End of the week again – It’s been a long one!

 

            Our JUST A MINUTE today deals with words one wishes he might take back.  Gen. Wesley Clark (ret. U.S. Army) former NATO commander, was once hot on the trail of the Presidential nomination. His competition was rather stiff – and so was he apparently. Unwilling to change, he dropped out fairly early in the contest – but kept on talking like a man who feels his trip across the infield was not fairly considered.  So as the campaign continued he was tapped, apparently, as one of Sen. Obama’s military advisors – since Obama’s military experience was, and is, non-existent.

 

            Gen. Clark has given the impression from time to time – somewhat like Alexander Haig of the Nixon Administration, another retired military person – that if he isn’t actually in charge, it’s obvious he *should* be. And so on Face the Nation a couple of weeks back he delivered himself of the opinion that being a shot-down fighter jock, who spent 5 plus years under the torture tutelage of Vietnamese schoolmasters – who so ‘fixed’ him he can’t raise his arms above his shoulders – did not really qualify one to be anointed Commander in Chief. Obviously the Nation had missed its chance when it had a NATO commander in prospect but didn’t take it.

 

            The Wall St. Journal reporter John Fund said Democrat strategists, after coming down off the ceiling, begged Clark to retract, recant, do something … he was doing Obama’s cause harm; On a scale of 1-10 it was a 12. So Clark did pull back a bit – and ever since has been unavailable to make any more TV appearances. The official line is he is going off campaign to handle his other clients that ‘pay the bills’ – which Fund says sounds like a campaign strategist who has been fired saying he really wants to spend more time with his family.

 

            I’ve never met General Clark – and have no idea how he got along with his superiors, inferiors or equals in the command structure of the Army – but the read I get between the lines is Obama’s campaign seems to be relieved not to have him loose on the deck during the countdown to November. Campaigns don’t share that same title with the mauling that goes on during battles for nothing. It’s not exactly a walk in the park. You’d better watch where you step – a hard lesson severely learned.

 

Cordially, IN HIM

 

Jack

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-11-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-11-08.doc

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

IS THAT A WHITE FLAG, GENERAL?

Just A Minute – Retired NATO Commander Wesley Clark was recently identified as a top Obama military advisor until about a week and a half ago.

General Clark has been a total critic of the Iraqi war after retiring from active duty. Thus he was admirably suited to the Obama campaign of getting the troops out in 16 months. However since the surge now looks to be succeeding -- the value of his currency has gone down.

The biggest nosedive, however, came after the General appeared a couple of weeks ago on “Face the Nation” and allowed as how he didn’t think getting shot down over Viet Nam, and spending five plus years in a POW camp was especially qualifying experience to become Commander in Chief. Particularly ironic coming from an advisor to a candidate with exactly zero military experience. Never even been a Cub Scout.

Anyway – his present VP hopes lie apparently somewhere between renegade GOP Senator Chuck Hagel and Osama Bin Laden. John Fund of the Wall St. Journal advises Clark not to wait by the phone for Obama’s call.

<> I’m Jack Buttram

(END)

 

 

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WHATEVER HAPPENED TO WMD? -- Just a Minute for Thursday 7/10/08

Howdy Once Again…

Remember Valery Plame – the yellow-haired CIA operative who maybe was -- but wasn’t – and sent her husband off to Africa to find “yellowcake” …an intermediate step to refine uranium into nuclear things like bombs or missiles etc? It’s back (slightly) in the news again as a well-respected national daily newspaper – INVESTOR’S BUSINESS DAILY -- reported the finding of 550 metric tons of the stuff. Apparently it never made the national media. It’s all confusing, eh?

Well… not reporting the finding of this huge cache of the stuff gave fuel to the fire that “Bush Lied --- lead us into war” and all that stuff. If IBD is to be believed – and there’s nothing in it for them to lie about it – a big batch of yellowcake was found (which amounted to proof that Saddam *was* in the business of making nuclear weapons – he just was going to hide the stuff until the storm blew over then he would blow us all up.

But apparently that didn’t fit the neat BIG media plan. And so we have the “Bush Lied” scenario that still plays today. The newspaper says the US has helped Iraq sell the yellowcake secretly to a Canadian firm which is processing it into nuclear fuel for its power plants – and to keep it from falling into the hands of terrorists. Had it been noised abroad it would have kicked away most of the early objection to the Iraqi war. I’d like to see the Democrats call a Congressional Investigation on that one... But it’s old stuff now. I guess the Bush Administration figures going through the “Bush Lied” gauntlet again doesn’t have much to commend it.

Nonetheless – one wonders how much trust to place in Iran’s assurances their missiles present no threat to Israel or to our armed forces over there. I’d say ‘fat chance’ – or maybe ‘slim to none’ would be better. [I’m on a diet.]

Cordially, IN HIM

Jack

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-10-08.mp3

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-10-08.doc

“JUST A MINUTE”

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO WMD?

Just A Minute – I got this off the Internet last evening.

“Heard about the 550 metric tons of yellowcake uranium found in Iraq? No? Why should you? It doesn't fit the media's neat story line Saddam Hussein's Iraq posed no nuclear threat when we invaded in 2003. It's a little known fact, after invading Iraq in 2003, the U.S. found massive amounts of uranium yellowcake, the stuff that can be refined into nuclear weapons or nuclear fuel…

“The U.S. secretly has helped the Iraqi government ship it all to Canada, where it was bought by a Canadian company for further processing into nuclear fuel---thus keeping it from potential use by terrorists…” Investor’s Business Daily

I heard about it a couple of days ago via Rush Limbaugh…he had misidentified it as 550 pounds of the stuff rather than 550 tons. If mainstream media had picked up on this it – it more or less would have knocked out the early opposition to the war – people shouting Bush “Lied” -- or Saddam posed no threat – Yeah, just like Iran poses no threat firing their missiles…"

<> I’m Jack Buttram

(END)

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IS THAT A LEAK I HEAR OR A SPRINKLER? -- Just A Minute for Wed. 07-09-08

Hello again… Glad you’re here…

 

There are some interesting poll numbers today (not that polling is the last word) released last Friday  -- and a lot has gone on since then with Senator Helms death intervening on July 4^th… But it appears the “healing” and unifying supposedly going on in the  Democrat ranks has neither been as fast nor as effective was supposed. This is rather normal – election experts say—the time between the ‘cinching’ of the nomination and the actual campaigning is one of flux and it takes a while for the roiled waters to stop sloshing in the pond. But noticeable slippage seems to be measured by CNN/Opinion Research pollsters – which if continued (and that’s a big if) would be hard news to manage for the Obama camp. 

 

In addition, Hillary has already started taking Obama’s money to help pay off her campaign debts… you can bet switching back to a more active campaign mode would NOT go down well inside the DNC… but what would Howard Dean do about it right now – give us another scream?  The rates of change or slippage are most likely to calm down unless something additionally blows up a storm – who knows what could happen.

 

The fact Senator Obama called two press conferences in the same day to clarify what he had already said about pulling out of Iraq indicates some Democrat strategists see the outlines of the corner into which they maybe have painted themselves.  But they are counting on the McCain campaign to play by the Marquis of Queensbury rules and not be too aggressive – since that’s the role the campaign has taken since the Senator overtook all his GOP opposition.  Now with a new hand on the campaign helm we all just have to await further developments. Up to now it’s not been very encouraging. But I’m writing this a bit in advance of it getting this on the air… so things may be happening I”ve not fully accounted for.

 

Weddings do that for a schedule. Jack Buttram got married (at least that was the plan) last Sunday… which is a little odd for Jack and Barbara who celebrated their 55^th Anniversary May 27^th… But this is a new Jack and Sarah (Hall) couple who at this writing are (or have) tied the knot on Sunday afternoon in Longview, Texas. Jack Earnest (contrasted with Jack Emerson – me) is a newly minted firefighter in the Simpsonville FD – while Sarah will be finishing her hair dresser training this summer. We wish them both well. They’ll be living in Greenville at least for the foreseeable future.

 

Now if I can settle back in routine… Just a Minute will go more smoothly than the election. [g]

 

Cordially – IN HIM

 

Jack

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-09-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-09-08.doc

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

IS THAT A LEAK OR A SPRINKLER?

Homer: Just a Minit – Mr. Jack I bin hearin’ th’ Obama poll numbers is down --

Jack: OH?

Homer: The fellers at th’ Bait Shop an Sushi Bar say a new poll shows it.

MizP: Is they abandonin’ Miz Hillirary?

Homer: Mr. O has promised ta' hep her pay her bills.

MizP: Hit woun’t be good to abandon ship rite now.

Homer: But they’s more Clinton supporters a-tellin CNN pollsters they mite jist stay home come November.  

BB: Who tole you this news?

Homer: Now don’t git mad…this was CNN an Opinion Research – they’s usual on Mr. Obama’s side.

MizP: An whut does hit say?

Homer: Las Friday hit said only 54 percent of th’ Clinton voters polled wud vote fer Mr. Obama.  A month ago hit was 60 percent.

MizP: Don’t look like th’ Party is a-unifyin’…

Homer: Early June 22 percent Clintonites said they wudn’t vote a-tall fer Obama -- now hit’s close to 33 percent.

BB: That ain’t good!

Homer: Forty three percent of registered Demicrats still say they want Mrs. Clinton -- in early June hit was ony 35 percent.

BB: At ain’t good neither.

Jack: Eight percent increase.

Homer: What cha gonna do Billy-bob?

BB: I’ll call up Al Gore -- see if’n he has a plan.

MizP: Who’s your fall back -- John Kerry?

BB: Oh Me…

Jack:  <> I’m Jack Buttram.

(END)

 

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THE DEPARTURE OF SENATOR "NO" - Just a Minute 7/8/08

Hello again – Glad to have you with us –

 

Senator Jesse Helms acquired the moniker “Senator NO” for his determined (not to say obstructive) fights in Washington for North Carolina and especially for limited government. There’s little question that he was a ‘man of his times.’ That is to say he grew up in the tobacco growing, segregated South barely out of the horrors of “reconstruction” in the post-war period of the wrenching struggle between North and South – agrarian vs mercantile economies and governmental philosophies that had roots widely differing in culture and outlook. In fact an objective look at America in the era of the late 1700’s would reveal a great *improbability* of any nation coming out of such a conglomeration of diverse elements. Yet it did – and like a bell struck by a mighty hammer – the resonances continue to bounce around today.

 

I’m rather amazed – disgusted really – at the unvarnished hatred coughed up in the Internet comments sections. Not just the dedicated liberal web-sites but those professing to present at least a modicum of decorum and “clean up” (which seems more honored in the breach than in the observance.)  At the same time we might as well recognize the truth of Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Check out some newspaper comments sections like the NYT or WPost or others… “desperately wicked…” seems to describe it with accuracy.

 

In any case, we’re fortunate not to be at the mercy of man but of God. He is a good and righteous judge – no matter what Christopher Hitchins thinks about Him. We shall all, in one place or another come to agreement with His justice, righteousness and mercy.  We could have no greater gift of freedom to access those blessings than we do here in America. I’m glad you’re with us.

 

Cordially, IN HIM

 

Jack

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-08-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-08-08.doc

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

THE DEPARTURE OF SENATOR “NO”

Just A Minute – Senator Jesse Helms died on Independence Day – the same as Presidents John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe.

When I worked as press secretary to conservative Senator Paul Fannin of Arizona – Helms would send me copies of his radio editorials as ammunition for speeches. His passing is mourned by Senator Elizabeth Dole, senior North Carolina senator seeking her second term. She’s the wife of former Senator Bob Dole, and has served as Secretary of Labor and President of the American Red Cross. 

Just a glance at the blogosphere shows the vitriolic nature of those who hated him. But he had grudging admirers such as former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, who said he is the most polite, most infuriating, most difficult person she ever dealt with on Capitol Hill.

Helms worked as a journalist for both WRAL-TV and the Raleigh News & Observer. He presented a retiring editor with a horse carrying a sign: “This is Jesse” it read. “You’ve been riding him all these years – don’t stop now.”

Farewell -- Senator “NO.”

<> I’m Jack Buttram

(END)

 

 

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WHERE'S MY EULOGY? Just a Minute for Monday July 07, 2008

Howdy again Folks –

Rudyard Kipling wrote: “The tumult and the shouting dies/ The captains and the kings depart/ Still stands our ancient sacrifice/ An humble and a contrite heart.

Possibly never more needed than today. When all the tumult dies and the drums and cannons fade away – there is still an emptiness in the human heart – described by some as a “God-shaped vacuum…” I’m not sure that helps me picture it. But nonetheless Christians know innately through the Scriptures that we are here as ‘pilgrims.’ This world is NOT our home – in the words of the old spiritual: “We’re just a-passin’ through…”

So what’s the answer to the restlessness that stirs deep inside. Even a man described as one “after God’s own heart” expresses his unease at times in the Psalms. But there are answers… perhaps more accurately there is AN answer and it lies within our reach in the pages of the Bible. May I give just a word of encouragement: My most consistent Christian living comes when I have a program… suggested to me by others, but never fully realized until and unless I made it my own – and that is daily Bible reading and prayer.

I’m not trying to add to your load or hand you a list of ten or 100 things to do to find spiritual fulfillment. I’m just saying simply, my experience is and has been consistent study of the “Owners Manual” if you will – the Bible – offers a singularly successful path to consistent joy.

I continually am amazed at how often the theme of JOY recurs in the Bible. For me JOY is best described as a fountain, spring or river… it consistently renews itself and ‘bubbles up’ so to speak. It’s not something that is imposed or suddenly discovered as much as it becomes a part of living. Something of the eternal open to experience now.

I hope I’m not being too mystical here. It’s just an observation from my own experience I’d like to share with you.

Well… on to today’s JUST A MINUTE. Let me know what you think via e-mail or however.

God bless you.

IN HIM

Jack

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-07-08.mp3

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-04-08.doc

“JUST A MINUTE”

WHERE’S MY EULOGY?

Just A Minute – Can you define panegyric? Here’s help – it’s a laudation, or an encomium.

St. Louis University History Professor Thomas Madden says America’s days are not numbered, as were Rome’s when it was awash in panegyrics. His view is: “Since humans climbed out of trees … none have ever lived in a period more prosperous, secure and stable than Americans do today.” But you’d never know it by listening to today’s news. Dr. Madden says we’re just bored. The evidence is at Barnes & Noble where you can’t get to the checkout for stacks of books detailing America’s decline.

My friend, Pat Buchanan, has built a cottage industry writing gloom and doom books – which I find odd for the cheerful Irishman I know him to be. Kevin Phillips is another draconian prophet.

All that to point out, there is cheerfulness to be found. It’s in the Bible. A consistent theme of joy – not necessarily temporal happiness – runs through the pages of sacred Scripture. C.S. Lewis, wrote, “Surprised by Joy.” That’s what we need in our July 4^th celebrations.

<> I’m Jack Buttram

(END)

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THIS IS HOW WE DID IT! - Just a Minute -- July 4th, 2008

Hello on the 4^th of July!

 

Hope you’re having a GREAT Independence Day. If you read yesterday’s blog… you see the extravagance with which John Adams expected Independence to be celebrated. It’s also worth dearly remembering what the cost of independence was and is. There are forces unleashed in today’s world who regard America at “The Great Satan” – some of them right here among us. We must be forbearing – but not so open minded we have our brains fall out.

 

In any case, the pledge of the founders to mutually put on the line “Our lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor” – is challenging even today 232 years later.  And for those signers of the Declaration… it did cost many of them practically everything. Last night I heard a friend tell of the life of his son, the only fatality during the arrest of Manuel Noriega in Panama. That’s a cost now 29 years ago which can never be replaced. And since then thousands more have paid the ultimate price for guarding our freedom, liberty and happiness. It’s a stirring recounting – but not just symbols – These are real people, real losses, real deaths that are the fabric of the lives we are able to enjoy in America today.

 

Among all the hoop-la of the Fourth – which is jubilant – but also should have a solemn underlayment – Let us recall with thankfulness, those who have paid whatever costs to preserve our nation which so abundantly allows us to worship the Lord our God in the manner we believe is true to Him. Freedom *isn’t* free – it has come at a great price. Let us honor today and every day, those who helped make it happen, under God.

 

Cordially, IN HIM

 

Jack

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-04-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-04-08.doc

 

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

THIS IS HOW WE DID IT

Just A Minute – Meeting in steamy Philadelphia July 1776 – our nation’s fathers mutually pledged “their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor.”  On this day 232 years later, we relish the blessings of liberty those men – who decided to pray each day – set in motion

Fortunately, there was no ACLU to tell Ben Franklin or George Washington prayer was a no, no.  So the pen of Jefferson aided by his fellow Virginian, George Mason, poured forth the immortal words:

“When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”

            Then we come to the certain unalienable Rights -- Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness – with which they understood their Creator had endowed them.

So … recall – these are the powerful words behind the fireworks, the parades, and the prayers.

            May the Lord, indeed, bless us all!

            <> I’m Jack Buttram

           

 (END)

 

 

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THE STORIES OF MICHELLE AND WESLEY -- Just a Minute for Thursday July 3rd, 2008

Hello Again Folks…

 

We’re closer to firecracker day.  I’m intrigued by how John Adams thought July 4^th might be celebrated. It was originally printed on that date…but signed by various members of the Founding Fathers on different dates. Here’s what he wrote to Abigail on July 3^rd 1776 – from Philadelphia:

            "It ought to be commemorated," said the man who would become our second president, "as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more”.

            I guess that hardly comes close to what we do tomorrow… but it give a glint of the idea they had developed – and which changed into a long, hard-fought battle for Amerca’s future.

            We’re somewhat engaged in the same struggle now. It requires our prayers and attention. I’ll write no more for now. God bless you all as you prepare for the National Holiday.

 

Cordially, IN HIM

 

Jack

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-03-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-03-08.doc

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

MICHELLE AND GEN. CLARK

Just A Minute – I started out quoting Senator Obama’s Monday speech in Harry Truman’s home town of Independence, Missouri as carried on the CNN web site -- Defending Barak’s patriotism, they quote the point at which Obama's wife, Michelle, told an audience: (quote) "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country." They offered in her defense that she was excited

            But “Patriotism,” said Obama, “… must involve the willingness to sacrifice.” And there he called attention to the military service of Senator McCain the presumptive Republican candidate. And added (quote) : “[I … learned that what makes America great has never been its perfection, but the belief that it can be made better."

Meanwhile, CNN said  McCain's campaign called on Obama’s to condemn comments from retired Gen. Wesley Clark, who said this past weekend …(quote)… “McCain’s service in Vietnam did not necessarily mean that he was qualified to serve as commander-in-chief.” CNN identifies retired Gen. Wesley Clark as a military adviser for Obama.

Now tell me – Who’s playing offense and who’s playing defense?

<> I’m Jack Buttram

(END)

 

 

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JAM 07-02-08 -- I forgot to send the script and the links. Here they are for Wed.

http://www.jebcovoice.net/audio/jama07-02-08.mp3

 

http://www.jebcovoice.net/scripts/jamt07-02-08.doc

 

 

“JUST A MINUTE”

WHAT’S ALL THE BUZZ ABOUT?

Homer: Just a Minit – Mr. Jack didja heer about the Bee accident up in Canada?

Jack: Bee accident, Homer?

Homer: There was this BIG truck in New Brunswick a-carryin’ a huge load of bees…

 BB: Wait a minit…  Honey bees?

Homer: Right Mr. Billy-bob.

BB: How they git them ta' stay on th’ truck? (HE HE)

Homer: I’ll ‘splain if’n you’ll let me.

MizP: Let him tawk. I use ta' keep bees.

Homer: Ennyway … they was on a tractor trailer loaded Thousands of honey bees they was a- takin’ back from pollinate blueberry bogs – an th’ load shifted.

Jack: Oh – doesn’t sound good.

Homer: Well one of the crates of bees in front got damaged an th’ bees begin ta' fly out – and that’s when th’ buzzin got serius.

MizP: People got stung?

Homer: See they was folks on motorcycles in convertables an all –

MizP: Bees’ll leave you alone if you don’t bother ‘em….

Jack: How’d they solve it?

Homer:  Las nite they was telllin people not ta' mess wif em… let ‘em go back to th’ hives

BB: (He He) They was tellin’ ‘em all to bee-have.

MizP: Oh Billy, you bein’ silly.

BB: They tol ‘em git on their cell phones call home --

MizP: You makin’ fun

BB: Somebody wanted ta' organize a spellin’ bee. … I’d bag ‘em a doller a bag.

MizP: Oh … you don’t know what you’re a tawkin’ about – All them worker bees is female… the ones just a-standin’ around tawkin is DRONES … good fer nothin’ hardly…

Jack: Homer… maybe you can tell us later what happened to the bees in New Brunswick.

               <> I’m Jack Buttram.

(END)

 

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WHAT'S ALL THE BUZZ ABOUT? - Just a Minute July 2, 2008

Howdy –

 

Ever had a bee in your bonnet? I used to keep a couple of hives and every now and then one of the little ornery critters would skootch up under the bee veil (some call it a bonnet)  I had securely tied around my collar and neck and be inside the veil with me!  Well … I’m several thousand times bigger than she is – and if I’ll just be calm maybe she’ll calm down… but there’s not much more unnerving (at least for me) than to have a female worker bee complaining in my ear that she doesn’t like me – whoever I am – messing around with the honey she’s been so carefully gathering and processing – or the queen she’s been so diligently protecting – and she’s thinking about sacrificing her life to let me know it.

 

I shouldn’t be afraid of a bee. I’m bigger, stronger, smarter – Really? – why am I in this predicament then? And it takes a while to calmly get unwrapped from the veil and get the gloves off… and get far enough away from the rest of the angry females… etc. etc… you get the picture?  I’ve even had a few ride inside the house on my beekeeper’s shirt… and some diligent ones have stung me through fabric when it stretches tight around the base of one or the other thumbs [until a friend gave me a pair of pigskin gloves with breather vents and sleeves up over the elbows… etc. You get the picture. It’s also wise to tie a string around your trouser cuffs… no kidding!

 

And I’ve seen beekeepers – and worked with them – who work without gloves some even work without a veil, but my experience from childhood even, was bees seem to like the color of my eyes… close up… and I think bears who try to rob bee hives find that out also….Ah… but the honey is Soooo delicious… especially on hot buttered biscuits…

 

Well I think I warned you this is a program today NOT about politics. So… glad to have you with us. Leave us a comment or write a note or give a call if you read this… otherwise… I’ll never know.

 

Cordially, IN HIM

Jack